Losing my virginity on the Upper Yough with Rattso - 6/5/99
 

        Contributed by: Karl Gesslein
        Location of put in: Friendsville, Maryland
        Approximate class: Class V
        Estimated length: 6 miles

        Last Sat I ran the Upper Yough for the first time. In a word, it was awesome. Imagine the
        kind of crowds you've seen at events like the Bottom Moose Fest without the carnage. I
        started out at 3:30 AM driving like a bat out of hell to get to Friendsville by 11:00. Oooops,
        I got there at 9:30. OK, wandering around I ran into another paddler named Dave from
        Buffalo whom I had meet at the Bottom Moose. We had breakfast at the diner, it took
        about an hour for our food to show up, but hey the coffee was only $.25 with free refills, so
        I'm not complaining. I was a little apprehensive, this was the first time I had run a class V
        river without knowing the people I was paddling with. I did not know who would be a
        stronger paddlers in the group and who would be the weaker paddlers. Then I
        rendezvoused with Ratticus Maximus. I think he was as taken aback by first impressions of
        me as I was with him. You always have a mental image of what people on the internet look
        like. It is always wrong. Rattso was tall, very tall, almost as tall as I was. I noticed right
        away since to me everyone is short, no matter how tall they are, unless they are within a few
        inches of my height. He had printed out my Mug shot and used that to identify me.
        http://www.ne-ww.com/whome.htm One problem, the mug shot was of me 10
        years ago when I was young and reckless. I've got much less hair now. Almost none in fact.
        There was the usual shuttle confusion, Mr. Ratt Boy wanted to try out my Mr. Clean. I
        didn't have a problem with that except that left me with the squashed RPM/ wannabe squirt
        boat which had never been paddled on whitewater. I wasn't sure what was going to happen
        to me. We got to the put in then we waited. We waited and waited and waited.

        Switch to: Dam operator sleeping on his desk

        Switch to: A hundred paddlers laid out in the sun waiting for the bubble.

        Turns out the water didn't get turned on at the right time so we were waiting an extra couple
        of hours. It was fun talking to other paddlers. I saw the Franken RPM, an RPM with a
        wooden stern and an end cap on it. Cool. My super squashed RPM attracted lots of
        carnage vultures who were making bets on whether I was going to get hammered. Rattso's
        friends were also making bets on how many times he'd swim paddling that ridiculous looking
        elf slipper boat the Mr. Clean. I wasn't worried, my Mr. Clean is a damn fine river runner, I
        knew he'd be AOK. It was about 2:00 before the water showed up, I imagined sleeping till
        8:00 AM instead of getting up at 3:30 AM and still making it to the put in on time. Then I
        imagined the drive home, then I immediately started talking to someone trying my best to
        forget about having to drive home that night.

        Then the water finally came, everyone ran and hopped in, only to paddle a bunch of
        flatwater and have to wait some more. Mr Rattso had a few problems squeezing in the
        Clean and asked me several times how I managed to do it. Zen pain management technique,
        that all I can say. At first it seemed awkward to him, little did I know that within an hour or
        two he'd be cart wheeling the boat in pourovers and landing right on top of me. Cool.

        OK, so for those of you who have not paddled the Upper Yough it goes something like this.
        Wait, then wait some more, then keep waiting for the water. When the water finally gets
        there then keep waiting. After about 30 minutes you can put in and start paddling flatwater.
        Then you start getting into some Class III rapids. Now sit and wait. OK, paddle some more
        flatwater, OK now you start hitting the named rapids. 14 in all, and I don't remember any of
        their names or how to tell them apart. Thats what makes the Upper Yough class V, its not
        the rapids, its dealing with the confusion factor. Where am I? Where should I be? What do
        I need to do? The rapids are one right after another and there are definitely places you want
        to be and places you don't want to be. If you're paddling it for the first time you want to
        paddle with someone who knows it. Don't just ask if they've run it, ask how many times
        they've run it. If its less than 5 times then start looking for the older dudes paddling the
        old-school handmade fiberglass boats with the faded PDF and hook up with them. Each
        major rapid went something like this.

        Rattso: "OK this next rapid you want to ferry right, catch the micro eddy, then ferry out left
        behind the hole and boof right the left of the big rock in the center with your boat pointing
        right. Then catch the eddy and whatever you do, don't get swept into the next rapid. Got
        it?"

        Me: "Um yah whatever sure, Is there anyway to eddy out where I can see the line?"

        Rattso: "Well not really"

        Me: "Hmmm, well we're not gonna scout, eh?"

        Rattso: "No, you don't need to scout"

        Me: "OK, well you want to go first?"

        Rattso: "Sure"

        And we'd go merrily along. Sometimes I would see my Clean doing unintentional cartwheels
        or launching in the air, and would adjust my line accordingly. The squashed RPM did
        surprisingly well with the following exceptions, I blew my skirt 3 times in the middle of
        rapids. When boofing drops and landing on the eddy line my RPM would do major mystery
        moves where the whole boat and sometimes my head would go underwater. It was weird,
        but cool. There was lots of really fun runs where you got to ride up on the pillows of rocks
        and drop into eddys run narrow little slots and stuff. Mr Rattso was nice enough to not
        show me the pansy lines, but to run me down the really fun lines. It was really a good time.

        I was really inspired by a nice woman who was hand paddling with gloves with webbed
        fingers and by watching Jeff Snyder striding standing up in his ducky. I kept thinking to
        myself, how cool it is to discard convention and work the river on your own terms. Its all
        about finding your place in the water and where you belong. I must confess I am still
        looking. After seeing the rows and rows of plastic boats I wanted to break out and do
        something different and special. Not just buy an Angst or a Sin, I wanted to do something
        that no one else is doing. Whitewater is a difficult medium to experiment in though and can
        be awfully unforgiving.

        All and all I would call the weekend a smashing success even though I spent about 13 hours
        on the road and only got to paddle one day. The Upper Yough is an excellent river for solid
        class IV+ boaters. It releases every Monday and Friday, and usually the first sat of the
        Month. So starting planing to skip work and get you butt down there.

Take me home